If you don't like yourself (and few slaves and subs I’ve known do) then what you will likely seek in a master isn't to adore and venerate him, but to be validated by him. What you therefore seek is to be desired by him and, hopefully, to see yourself through his eyes. That way, you hope, you might feel the approval you don’t get when you look at yourself through your own eyes.
And that will not work. We cannot find what we need by experiencing it vicariously, by proxy, taking someone else’s feelings and turning it into a hand-me-down. And so many slaves, good ones, with the right mind and attitude to serving, go to waste because they cannot or will not look from the outside in.
It is the first rule of training; both teacher and student must see the material available, the good and the bad, the strengths and weaknesses, the hope and despair. They must see it, recognise and deal with it. After all, you cannot build anything of significance if the foundations are damaged or missing. You have to repair and reinforce what everything else is to sit on, otherwise it will, inevitably, all come tumbling down when some point of critical mass is reached.
Because what we do not like about ourselves is often far, far more important than what we do like and within those things is our weaknesses and fears and insecurities. And all this is what will undermine us and so they undermine our relationship with another.
Be honest with yourself, face what you see as your failings and shortcomings and face them head-on. There’s no point being scared or intimidated; these things won’t go way, ever. They must be dealt with and if that requires, help, seek that help out.
Don't go to waste.
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